Learning to Sing in the Darkness

Daily Devotional – Saturday, January 15, 2022

Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him; even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.

Job 13:15 (NKJV)

As I write this devotional, I am down with a serious bout of flu. For two days now, I have not been to work. I am dealing with mild headaches, a running nose, chills and incessant sneezes, among other irritating symptoms.

I am also facing other tough personal challenges.  Some plans I had did not go as I expected. Some of my projects have not taken off or have stalled. Suffice it to know that I am going through a rough patch.

Where is God when misfortune strikes?

I have a feeling of déjà vu. I have added my fair share of ‘why’ questions to God. I do not understand many issues. For example, why do I suffer despite my commitment to God? Where is God when misfortune afflicts me?

What is even more frustrating is the deafening silence from God. While I expect clear responses from Him on why He allows me to go through situations I did not bring upon myself, He seems to ignore my cries.

My God, why have You forsaken me?

Like the psalmist, I complain to God, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me? Why are You so far from helping me and from the words of my groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent” (Psalms 22:1-2).

At some point, I start thinking I should not bother God with my fears. Then I remember Job’s attitude towards his harrowing experience. He decided not to keep quiet. He needed answers. He turned to God.

Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him

Job told the friends that had come to console him, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him; even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.” (Job 13:15). Job revered and loved God. He would trust God at the cost of His life, but he needed answers from God.

My experience shows that God sometimes remains silent when we want Him to speak. On our part, we keep asking questions, and this is where spiritual growth takes place. As we agonize with God, He speaks to our consciences thus giving us courage and patience.

I will fight for you

As I deal with my current, God keeps reminding me of the way He has led me in the past. I recall the pits from which the Lord has pulled me. He whispers, “I, the LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” (Exodus 14:14).

When I complain that time is running out for Him to answer my request, God tells me gently, “I, the LORD, will hasten it in its time.” (Isaiah 60:22). Concerning my plans, God adds, “Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come. It will not tarry.” (Habakkuk 2:3).

Learning to Trust God More

It is during these moments that I learn to trust God more. My faith grows as I wrestle with Him. While He does not give me direct answers to my prayers, He assures me He is in charge. I should not fear.

The comes my last demand, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!” (Genesis 32:26). God taps my shoulder and says, emphatically, “…from this day I will bless you.” (Haggai 2:19). He reassures me.

Filled with Peace that Surpasses all Understanding

As I emerge from wrestling with God, I am anxious for nothing, because by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, I have made known my requests to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guards my hearts and mind through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7).

Oswald Chambers’ words aptly summarize my experience:

“At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God’s hand until we learn to hear Him.”

Lord Jesus, there are lot of things and happenings affecting me that I do not understand. As I wrestle with You for answers, I am happy to learn as I wait for the right time (Your time).